Sorry
I'm not the kind of guy that usually writes sappy posts, and I don't think I'm gonna be starting that trend any time soon, but if I'm known for anything I would like to say it's unpredictability. I know that's probably not true, most ppl can read me like an open book, but hey as long as I'm convinced in my own mind.
Anyway back to the issue at hand. I just wanted to apologize. To everyone. Everyone I've ever talked to, everyone I've ever met, everyone I've ever known. I'm sorry for all the crap you've seen from me. I'm sorry that you've had to give up so much of your time putting up with me. I'm sorry that I'm so selfish. I'm sorry for being annoying. I'm sorry for being so proud. I'm sorry for being as loving as I should have been. I'm sorry I made you angry. I'm sorry I made you cry. I'm sorry I made you bitter. I'm sorry I tore down your faith.
And to the one in particular, the one who I've let down the most, the one who really truly cares, the one that's given the most to me, that I've given the least to in return. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I was angry at you. I'm sorry I blamed you. I'm sorry I lost faith in you. I'm sorry I stopped speaking to you. I'm sorry I turned my back on you.
I want to thank you for not giving up on me. I want to thank you for not giving me more than I could take. I want to thank you for making me the way I am, for teaching me patience, for teaching me humility, for teaching me perseverance, for teaching me rising above.
I want to thank certain individuals in particular for putting up with me. I want to thank certain people that made me feel like they loved me, in spite of myself. Despite the fact that I'm an obnoxious ginger kid with nothing positive to say and a bleak and cynical outlook on life. Despite the fact that I'm a wet blanket, that I tear down more than I build up, that I sow disunity more than love, thank you. Thank you for not giving up on me. Why you haven't is a mystery, you could've taken the easy way out and just ignored me, but for some reason you still choose to love me, and for that I thank you. The more I get to know me, the less I like me, but for some of you have known me for a pretty long time, and for some reason you can still put up with me. For some reason you still hug me and smile, and your face lights up when you see me. For some reason you make me happy, for some reason you understand the different trials I go through and you make it seem less significant. Don't know why, but you have.
I wish I could name particular names here, but I know none of these people would want me putting their names in lights. If you take the time to read this blog, one of those people is probably you.
Thank you.
posted by Blog God @ 9:44 PM
10 comments
10 Comments:
That's deep Jesse....and sweet. You're a libra, you can't help your nature. There's a 13 year old libra kid here that I have to deal with every day and he's like you all over again...yeesh...only worse cause he's so disrespectful...and I'm not allowed to stuff socks in his mouth or lock him in the bathroom. Haha.
Love ya, keep learnin' life's lessons.
nonsense jesse, ur making urself sound worse than u really are. ur a piece of this puzzle that we call fiesta, and it wouldn't be the same without you.
XOX
It'd be a heckuv alot better.
Take "her" and replace it with anything that gives you meaning/something you love. Paul McCartney wrote this song for John Lennon's son during his parents divorce. It's a great song for tough times.
;)
Spike Hopes This Makes Some One Feel Better
We love you Jesse.
Jesse, I think that is the coolest thing I have read in a long time and although I know that I am not one of those sweet peoples who have made your life what it is......I want to let you know that life without you wouldn't be the same. Your home is what you make it, and you are part of our home, you are great believe me you really are! I love you!
Pick me! Pick me! I just have to comment on this one, and tell you just how much i love you and how special you are to me. i read it and it made me feel so sad, i wish i could be a better friend and be there for you more. but you know my just another failable Libra. You are a wonderful person and no, our home would not be better without you! so dont you be talkin like that. Going out caroling with you the other night was a blast, and i love the way that you always make me laugh and smile (btw you are the funnest person in our home to argue with!! woo hoo! ok ok i will shut up.
Don't be to hard on your self bro. I still think your a great guy. Thats why I'm going to vote for you as president of the United States.
Jesse,
You are really growing, Jesse. I am proud of you. I've gone through those humbling times when we look at ourselves and don't like what we see, but you only get better after that. Then you will discover the beauty that you have inside you and you will be able to bring that out more and more and that will help people to see the beauty that you have within you. That is the real you. I know that Jesse, because I watched you grow and I know who you are. You are on your way to discovering the beautiful person God knows you to be. Just let that REAL you come out. We love you, so be thrilled that you are you, that unique and wonderful guy.
So now the question is, when are you going to post something new?
Nah man, yer not as bad as you're painting yerself...KGFG MAN! Love you!
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