The World as it could have been

Ever wonder what would have happened if Lucifer had been satisfied with his position in heaven? (those of you who do not believe in the biblical series of events leading up to the fall of man, including the fall of Satan himself, stop reading here.) (Those of you who do not believe in the fall of man also stop reading here)
Imagine if when we thought of archangels instead of thinking "Michael and Gabriel" we thought of Lucifer and Pooches. (Editors note: Pooches was the second highest archangel in heaven when Lucifer rebelled, and was one of the first to be swayed to the dark side. As punishment for his rebellion the Lord had his name stricken from all of history, just like Xerxes said he would do to Leonidas, but obviously failed.)

You see, the world would be a very different place without a Satan. Most believe that if it weren't for Satan we would still be in the garden of Eden. We would all be living in a paradise where nobody would grow old, there would be no diseases, no one would be overweight, everyone would be naked. The kind of place where your girlfriend's mom was as hot as she was.
I have my theories about this, would we really have been there still? After all, Adam and Eve blew it pretty quickly, how do we know in the thousands of years that have passed from then till now that a fruit would not fall from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, where the wind would carry it and make it roll next to an apple tree, and Eve would take it and eat thinking it to be an Orange. Sounds far fetched, but it could happen.

Imagine if that had been the case, and we were thrown out of Eden, but there was no Satan to tell us to build towers of Babel or watch American Idol. What would we do? Where would we be as a species? Would we have been conquered by aliens? Would there even be aliens since there would be no fallen angels and therefore no nephilim which EVERYONE knows are aliens?

These and many other questions you may spend time pondering, but allow me to save you the trouble of thinking, as I have already done it for you. Indeed, why should anyone think of something unless it is something that has not been thought of before. If a thought has been thought, and a problem solved, why should one solve it himself when he could google it and find the answer without ever having to work it out on his own?

The answer to the question posed is that we would be exactly as we are now, the only difference being there would be no towers (indeed no building more than two stories high), and obviously no one would watch American Idol.
There may be a few other minor changes of course. Rock and Roll would need a new icon, most likely they would take a goat.
Wicca would be a course in college, and it would be the art of making Wick for a candle.
Stonehenge would also likely look quite different, probably not the shape, or the design, or even the materials used (massive rocks) but it would probably be painted a cheerier color.

As for religion, I don't think it would change much. Man turned it's back on God without too much help from Satan. If we managed to do it (for a second time) with Satan's help a good 2000 years ago, I'm sure we would have done it by now without his help.

What this means is that the crusades could have continued as they always did. (Jesus vs. Mohammed, God vs. Allah. That's like Clark Kent Vs. Superman, they're the same thing, except one wears glasses.{If you were wondering who was who, God is Superman and Allah is Clark Kent because Allah wears glasses}) So really when you break down those wars Satan didn't have anything to do with it, that was all our fault.

In fact when you look at pretty much everything in the world today it's hard to see the work of Satan. I mean it's one thing when something is obviously due to Satan's intervention, like the creation of Ghost Rider, but very few things fall under that category.
Most things in this world are messed up because of ourselves, and our own stupid mistakes, and the sooner we stop blaming our problems on Satan (and George W. Bush........Mofo) the better off we'll all be.

Oh, and this whole "don't blame your problems on the Devil" thing, goes double for God. Seriously, leave the dude out of it, he's got his own problems to deal with, what with paying for Jesus' private therapy sessions after that whole crucifixion thing.

So if you've ever been curious at how the world would be without Satan. Now you know.

VOTE DEMOCRAT!!