Proffesional Eating

I stuck a plum in my mouth today. I ate it in one bite. Sound like a big feat? Not really. When I was 3 I won the award at our church for biggest smile. A little while later I tested my biting ability and realized I had somewhat of a large mouth. Over the next few years I practiced stuffing large quantities of food in my mouth at one time. It gradually went from half a hamburger, to a whole hamburger. Then a whole whopper, then somewhere in the vicinity of 100 french fries, a handful of saltine snack crackers (10 I belive it was).
Now most of you probably think this is no big deal and quite easy. The thing that makes it tricky is not only stuffing the large quantity of food in your mouth, but actually downing it. That's chewing and swallowing it without use of your hands, utensils or anything but your mouth. Simply keeping the food in your mouth is a challenge, today I tested my abilities with two mouthwatering plums. I was in the middle of chewing them up, slowly but surely, I was doing it, unfortunatly I had an audience who was half grossed out, and half cheering me on, but mostly laughing. Sadly theirl laughter got to me, and on about my fourth laugh a Jetstream of half-chewed plum shot out of my mouth, very similar to a stream of vomit.
My half-cheering, half grossed audience, quickly became a fully grossed audience, and as with most gross things laughed all the more, uncontrolably also.

One could say I failed in my attempt to eat 2 plums at once. I don't consider it a failure, merely an opportunity to try again. Hopefully I will have a clip in a few days of me and Kevin attempting this once more, this time in a contest to see who will do it fastest. And this time....no laughing.