Sorry

I'm not the kind of guy that usually writes sappy posts, and I don't think I'm gonna be starting that trend any time soon, but if I'm known for anything I would like to say it's unpredictability. I know that's probably not true, most ppl can read me like an open book, but hey as long as I'm convinced in my own mind.

Anyway back to the issue at hand. I just wanted to apologize. To everyone. Everyone I've ever talked to, everyone I've ever met, everyone I've ever known. I'm sorry for all the crap you've seen from me. I'm sorry that you've had to give up so much of your time putting up with me. I'm sorry that I'm so selfish. I'm sorry for being annoying. I'm sorry for being so proud. I'm sorry for being as loving as I should have been. I'm sorry I made you angry. I'm sorry I made you cry. I'm sorry I made you bitter. I'm sorry I tore down your faith.
And to the one in particular, the one who I've let down the most, the one who really truly cares, the one that's given the most to me, that I've given the least to in return. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I was angry at you. I'm sorry I blamed you. I'm sorry I lost faith in you. I'm sorry I stopped speaking to you. I'm sorry I turned my back on you.

I want to thank you for not giving up on me. I want to thank you for not giving me more than I could take. I want to thank you for making me the way I am, for teaching me patience, for teaching me humility, for teaching me perseverance, for teaching me rising above.

I want to thank certain individuals in particular for putting up with me. I want to thank certain people that made me feel like they loved me, in spite of myself. Despite the fact that I'm an obnoxious ginger kid with nothing positive to say and a bleak and cynical outlook on life. Despite the fact that I'm a wet blanket, that I tear down more than I build up, that I sow disunity more than love, thank you. Thank you for not giving up on me. Why you haven't is a mystery, you could've taken the easy way out and just ignored me, but for some reason you still choose to love me, and for that I thank you. The more I get to know me, the less I like me, but for some of you have known me for a pretty long time, and for some reason you can still put up with me. For some reason you still hug me and smile, and your face lights up when you see me. For some reason you make me happy, for some reason you understand the different trials I go through and you make it seem less significant. Don't know why, but you have.
I wish I could name particular names here, but I know none of these people would want me putting their names in lights. If you take the time to read this blog, one of those people is probably you.

Thank you.

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